Published on We Have Kids on 5/20/2017
When I first jumped aboard this mother train, I was barely an adult. I was this young wife who knew nothing more than what I remembered growing up as the oldest of three—plus what I learned in an early childhood development course in college. Despite that, I had no idea that being a mother would be so much more than just making sure I fed, clothed, and protected my kids.
My first year was rough. It was exciting, challenging, tiring, depressing, and overwhelming all at the same time. Of course, I didn’t know it to be so at the time. I was so lost in that new world of motherhood that I never took the time to step back and reflect.
By my second child, I relaxed a bit and didn’t feel the same anxiety about caring for a newborn. But after the third one, I felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under me. I knew that I wanted to be the best mother I could be to my kids and that I wanted to be there for them when they needed me, but with three children and a lifestyle that pulled me in too many different directions, I cracked.
I started to question what I really wanted to do with my professional life. The plan had always been for me to return to work and build a career that would allow my husband to change his. But somehow, I couldn’t shake this sense that my life wasn’t meant for what I originally went to college for – finance. The life of working in a professional office setting didn’t make sense for my family anymore, and I found myself struggling to find happiness as a stay at home mom.
And I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Becoming a mother changes you so much: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Before motherhood, you only had to think about your own well-being since you didn’t have the responsibility of raising a child. All of a sudden, you have to make decisions based on what is best for the both of you and that can be a very slippery slope, ladies.