When I rebranded in October 2017, my worst fear was that this train would meet the end of its tracks. While that isn’t exactly the case, I am thinking more 4th dimensionally.
I feel it to be more like how the tracks were incomplete in 1885, yet 100 years into the future, the tracks are there. Or maybe it’s like when a scientist has a revolutionary idea that could change the world yet he’s invented something far ahead of its time.
Could I have leaped into all of this too fast, too soon? Again?
What really put the pause on the whole thing
If you’ve been following me on Facebook, then you already know a little bit about what’s been happening.
Except, I’ve left out the number one thing that started this whole thing.
The fact that I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant.
Nothing makes you rethink your career choices like finding out your expecting…again.
And during those first few weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I spiraled into a pile of mush. I felt paralyzed by the changes my body continues to undergo. Lack of motivation to do anything crippled my spirit.
For several weeks, I feared that this pregnancy might derail the ambitious plans I laid out for my writing career, including the plans I had for laurensainz.com.
That song “Let You Down” by rapper NF really spoke to how I felt:
“Feels like we’re on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down
All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I’m sorry that I let you down”
I felt like I’d let myself down, but worse was that I felt like I’d let all of you down, too.
There I was having freshly released my “Revive Your Life Spark Mini E-Course” to my email subscribers and I was falling apart all over again.
It literally felt like I was dropped right back to the way I felt in May 2016 when I hit my rock bottom.
Except for this time, the voices are louder, more disappointed. They remind me that I had great momentum building and I was feeling the best I had in years.
Who knew that the decision to try one more time would result in not just a slamming of the brakes, but a complete reversal in healing.
What led to the brand change again
In the early weeks of pregnancy, my head would spin and mental voices would tell me that I’m stupid for dreaming and thinking I could start a new career. But, I let the voices shout. I knew that wasn’t my true-self speaking. Those are my fears fighting for control.
And I wasn’t going to let them have it. At least not permanently.
I allowed myself time to wallow, but the instant I felt more myself again, the ideas poured out the floodgate.
I realized that I don’t have to stick to one thing and I can write on a number of different things.
If you’re interested in learning more about what else I’m doing, you can head over to laurensainz.com.
What you can expect from Life Spark with Lauren
I realize that in the past, my blog posts have been rather lengthy.
But moving forward, you’ll be happy to hear that I’ll be crafting them into more bite-sized pieces.
You can still expect the same level of quality and value from my posts, but they will be more condensed and focused. I want you to walk away from reading a post feeling as though you’ve had a brief pep talk with me.
And I’d like to hear from you more! I want you to tell me your thoughts on what you’ve read. I’d like you to share with me your stories and your ah-ha moments.
You can do that by dropping comments here or heading over to our Life Spark with Lauren Facebook Group and leaving them there. (Comments posted here are public, but you can choose to be anonymous. Posts in our Facebook Group can only be seen by others in the group.)
Let me know that I’m helping you navigate your crazy life while I navigate mine. Share the posts that make an impact on social media and help me spread my messages of healing. Ask me questions! Everything I write here at Life Spark with Lauren is meant to help you.
And don’t forget to go join us over in the Facebook Group before you leave this page.